Happy 16th Birthday, Son #1

To read his birth story, click here.

You are my night owl with a wry sense of humor. Super smart - you'll either end up dominating the world or solving its major problems. :-) You still love books, video games, all things science. You don't enjoy driving, but you have to put that permit to use and practice, practice, practice. Oh, and you rocked in school. 4.0 + GPA, with 3 honors classes. In school, you ran cross country, track and lettered in wrestling. Once you complete the two final merit badges, you'll be an Eagle Scout. Keep up the good work! We're proud of you and we love you.

Happy 14th Birthday, Son #2!

My middle son turns 14 today! If you'd like to read his birth story, click here.

To my son: What a year it's been! You're still as sweet and funny as ever. Smart too. Only one B the entire 8th grade year -- the rest were A's. You took freshman level Algebra, was a Student of the Year runner up, and won a Principal's School Community Leadership Award in your last year of junior high.

You played solid baseball. Coach said you are an excellent utility player: reliable in any position you play: 1st & 2nd base, shortstop, centerfield, left field... He says you have great speed and agility, plus a strong arm. Best of all (to me, at least) is your excellent attitude. No whining in baseball, that's my motto. (Too bad the same can't be said for all of your teammates, but you just keep leading by your example.)

I love you bunches! Happy Birthday!

First Day of School (sort of)

As I mentioned in my last post, Dear Hubby has been accepted in to the diaconate program (i.e., studying to be a deacon) with the Archdiocese. Wives are "strongly encouraged to attend and participate" in classes. This past Saturday, we attended the first of our classes: social justice and theology.

Social Justice is the one taught by the "tough" instructor. Ex-military, retired attorney - he uses the 'Socratic method' much like that used in law school. Lots of class participation, students are expected to have the answers, or at least the reasoning to defend one's ideas. To say I'm out of my element is an understatement, yet I thoroughly enjoyed it. Perhaps it was because of I really have nothing to lose, other than my dignity. :-)

Our first assignment - given at the orientation retreat last Sunday - was to read and be prepared to discuss Pope John Paul II's encyclical, Evangelium Vitae (Gospel of Life) - all 167 pages of it. In six days.

Classes meet every two weeks, but each session alternates. So next time (Jan. 31), we'll study Spirituality and attend a workshop. The following class (Feb. 14) will be our second Social Justice/Theology class. I joked with my husband that since we essentially have four weeks until the next class, the instructor will assign four books to read. I was pleasantly surprised that this was not the case.

Next Steps for Son #3

Son #3 will be finishing his kindergarten year in May. As is the custom at his school, I had a conference with his teacher to help decide the best placement for him next year. The options for any child are: 1) repeating kindergarten, 2) transitional 1st grade, 3) traditional first grade, or 4) multi-age.

The Traditional 1st grade (also called T-1) is a program that's not quite kindergarten and not quite first grade. It's often referred to as "the gift of time." It's for kids who socially and emotionally aren't quite ready for traditional first grade. At the end of the T-1 school year, the student will move into 1st grade.

The Multi-Age program is where ten first grade students (called "novices") are placed in a class with ten second grade students (called "experts"). There are a lot of centers and collaborative work. The following year, the "experts" move into tradition 3rd grade, while the "novices" (1st graders) become the "experts" (2nd graders) and a new group of 10 kids join them as novices. The advantages are the same teacher for two years in a row, plus half of the same kids.

Son #3's kindergarten teacher and I met this morning to discuss what would be the best option for my little guy. Academically he's 'very stong.' (I'm not surprised since I home schooled him for pre-K - at his request.) However, there are some areas where emotionally and socially, he's a bit "developmentally younger" than his 6 years.

How much of this is because I kept him home with me until kindergarten? How much of it is because of his general personality? Who knows?

According to the Gesell Developmental Observation, he ranked 'very strong' in math and in visual memory. Slight behind in auditory memory (duh, he rarely listens to me! Didn't need a test to tell me this.) His cognitive skills are above average. His symbolic/drawing skills are strong, as are his spelling skills.

He gets along well with his peers, does well in group settings. His challenges, however, are:

• ♦ fine motor skills. He's such a perfectionist at forming his letters that he sometimes does not finish his assignment. Is it a fine motor deficiency (developmental) or a personality train (perfectionism)? Who knows.
• ♦ while he works well in groups, he does not want to take the lead, doesn't want to go first. (heck, I'm 40+ and I don't like to take the lead). Again, is this developmental or personality?
• ♦ at school, he has difficulty expressing his feelings. NOT a problem at home.
• ♦ although he rarely needs help from the teacher, on the rare occasions where he does not understand the instructions, he doesn't seem to ask for help.

It boils down to this:

School Son #3 versus Home Son #3

• ♦ School Son #3 plays well with other kids
• ♦ Home Son #3 plays well with other kids EXCEPT his brothers
• ♦ School Son #3 shares shares
• ♦ Home Son #3 shares when he wants to, which isn't often
• ♦ School Son #3 has difficulty expressing feelings
• ♦ Home Son #3 won't hesitate to tell you exactly what he's feeling
• ♦ School Son #3 lacks confidence
• ♦ Home Son #3 is a complete bulldozer

Will the REAL Son #3 please stand up? I thought the teacher might recommend Transitional First Grade but I've read studies and while I think it might be a viable options for some kids, I'm not sure it's best for Son #3. Dear Hubby is very resistant to this idea (as is the National Association for the Education of Young People).

Fortunately, his teacher said that while T-1 is a viable option, she's not going so far as to recommend it for Son #3 (like she has for a couple of other students). She and I seem to agree that the multi-age program (which offers a bit more flexibility than traditional first grade) might be a good fit. Next step: she and I each write a letter to the principal stating our opinions and rationales. As a parent, I'm allowed to request a specific program (in this case, Multi-age), but I'm not supposed to request a particular teacher.

There is one multi-age teacher that I would love for Son #3 to have. She was Son #1's second grade teacher and we loved her! So while I cannot request her by name, in my letter, I can describe the type of teacher would help my son thrive and blossom. Let's hope the principal can read between the lines. Wish us luck!

ARRRGGGG!

Interim reports came home yesterday. You know, those midway through the grading period reports that let you know how your child is doing so far.

Can someone please explain to me how a 12 year old, who cannot spell at all yet reads at a 12th grade level, is managing an A in spelling and a D in reading?!!!! I'm scratching my head. Son #1 generally tries very hard. He'll get a lot of excellent grades peppered with the occasional not-so-great grade, but it usually balances out beautifully. This D, however, stems from one low test score and two missed assignments (which is out of character for him).

On his last report card, he had 5 As and 2 Bs. On this interim, he has 6 As and 1 D (which he'd better pull up or he'll be having a very Blue Christmas!). It's hard to rejoice over a half-dozen As when there's that lone D staring me in the face. But should it be hard? Six As are pretty impressive. And, as it stands now, if he ended up with these grade on this report card, he'd still end up with a 3.57 average and therefore make honor roll. With a D. Mind boggling.

Needless to say, there's a conference in our future. I called today to request an appointment, but I also want the resource teacher who's responsible for my son's IEP (individualized education plan) to attend in case we need to make modifications.

Not be outdone by his big brother, Son #2 also brings home a disappointing interim. One A, 4 Bs and 1 C. This is down from his last report card grades of 4 As and 2 Bs. Sigh.... While he didn't get the lowest grade in our family, he dropped in every class but one. That's perhaps more distressing that Son #1 who went up in one class and way down in another.

Son #2 is a trickier nut to crack. He's very smart, and in general, things come very easily for him - although that appears to be ending. He just likes to rush through his work, not read the directions completely. He has a completely different work ethic. Take his weekly geography assignment, for example. The teacher hands it out on Wednesday and the kids have a week to do the worksheet, using their text books. An easy A, right? Practically a gift from the teacher. How do you mess that up? By getting Bs and Cs on the worksheet? Why, I asked? Because he couldn't find all the answers. They're not all in the book, he says - but I'm skeptical.

Let's say he's right, though. He has an entire week to find the answers. And we now have highspeed internet. Heck, a week is enough time to go to the local library and check out a couple of books. But no. He finds the answers he can, guesses at the rest and turns it in the day after receiving the assignment (basically he turns it in 6 days early). I'm putting an end to that now.

If it were an issue of his not being organized, we can take steps to improve that. If he was struggling with the content, we could work on that. But how do you "fix" someone's work ethic? (Really, I'm open to suggestions.)

And for the record, I'm not completely opposed to Cs or even Ds. I'm just opposed to them for these kids. It's one thing if a child is struggling with a subject. Heck, I was that kid (math). Sometimes Cs and even Ds are reason to celebrate (or at least breathe a sigh of relief). But neither of my sons are struggling to grasp the material being taught.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* UPDATE ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I sat looking at the dates of Son #1's missed assignments, it occurred to me that they may have been handed out on an afternoon when Son #1 wasn't feeling well and spent 20 minutes in the nurse's office before returning to class. The teacher believes that was indeed the day, so she will allow Son #1 to make up both missed assignments and deduct 10 points, which I thought was generous. He should have been more proactive in asking, "what'd I miss?" She didn't sent the assignments home though on Friday so he'll get to work on them after the Thanksgiving break.

But I'm Not Even *IN* School!

What a week it's shaping up to be! Not a bad one, mind you. Just busy. Son #2 is doing well in 5th grade. No big surprises. Of course, he's adjusting to a new teacher, but he's at the same school with the same friends as last year. We're just trying to get settled into the new routine and learn what the teacher expects. Open House at the school isn't for another week or so. I should have a better handle on things by then. Son #2 is a good student. Things tend to come easily for him so he doesn't necessarily put forth his best effort. We're working on developing a better work ethic, because let's face it, at some point things will stop coming so easily for him and he'll need a back up plan that doesn't include coasting on his good looks, manners and sense of humor.

Son #1 seems to be adapting well to Junior High. The big leagues. Changing classes for all courses. He hasn't been assigned a locker yet - that should happen next week once everyone's schedules are pretty much set (some "tweaking" of the schedules is still going on - not for my son, though).

Today is the first day that he'll have to change into gym clothes for Phys. Ed. class. I'm curious to see how that will work out. The school sells a gym uniform for $15, or they can wear a plain white t-shirt and plain navy gym shorts. We've opted for the latter so far. I'm not opposed to buying a gym uniform with the school logo on it, but right now a 5-pack of white Hanes t-shirts costs less than $5 at Walmart and I found 3 pair of navy shorts are Kmart for 4 each.

• 3 gym uniforms + 2 extra shirts = $17
• Not having to do laundry every night = Priceless

I'm a little worried about Spanish class. He does not have a text book. I know some schools are getting away from that, but Son #1 is not a great "auditory" learner. I hope they have books but perhaps haven't distributed them yet because the lockers haven't been assigned. In the meantime, he does have an excellent memory and that will help him with his vocabulary words.

He's also expected to do a science project this year, so we'll have to get online for some realistic ideas. Of course I'm not doing any of the work for him, but we do go through each notebook everyday - organization is a challenge for ADHD kids, and his organization skills are just emerging. It almost feels like I'm back in the 7th grade again, except I have clearer skin and finally outgrew the training bra, but I digress....

Then there's the paperwork. Lots of paperwork. Those of you have kids know what I mean. There are far fewer forms required to buy a house than it takes to get your kid settled in school. I have 3 kids, so that's 3 times the paperwork.

My kids are each at a different school which means I have to join 3 different PTAs. Don't count of seeing me at the meetings though. I don't have a lot of patience to sit through them - especially the reading of the previous meeting's minutes (Hellloooo? If I wanted to know what happened at the last meeting, I would have attended the last meeting. Sorry. That's me being snarky) and the budget stuff. As I mentioned in previous posts, I'm a "Slacker Mom" (I should make that one of the labels on my blog). I just can't participate in every fundraiser for 3 schools and two scouting organizations (cub scouts and boy scouts). I cannot bankrupt my in-law's, sorry.

Then there are the school fees. Lunch fee for the month, Supply fee to offset the photocopying expenses, PTA fee, Lab fee. Of course, each one requires a separate check.

Son #3 went for his kindergarten assessment on Tuesday so I picked up his packet and got a jump on that paperwork. His assessment went well. On the first day of school, the teacher will read a book - I forget the title - about a raccoon who goes to school but will miss his mom, so she kisses the palm of his hand. Momma Raccoon tells her son that if he gets lonely all he has to do is press his palm to his cheek and remember the love. I heard a similar story years before the book was published (1993) so my boys are very familiar with Mommy's Magic Kiss on their palm that cannot be washed off and will not wear away no matter what.

While Son #3 was in the class with the teacher for his testing, I sat in the hallway and completed my "assignment" - a construction paper cutout of my hand pasted on a larger piece of construction paper and a personal note. After reading the story on Monday, which will sound vaguely familiar to Son #3, the teacher will have the parents' "hands" in case the kids get lonely. Cute idea. The kids should be pleasantly surprised.

Meanwhile, I've been too busy to whine about how lonely I'll be on Monday... :-)

A Great First Day of School

First Day of School for Sons #1 and #2 was Friday, August 10th. Son #3 starts kindergarten on Monday, August 20th.

Despite almost missing the bus, Son #1 had a really good day at school. We were walking to the bus stop a block and a half away at least five minutes prior to the time recommended by the driver when the bus pulls up, picks up the kids and takes off. Darn. Fortunately, I knew the route and knew that we had a chance to race three blocks in the opposite direction and catch the very last stop, which Son #1 did - just in a nick of time. As Son #3 and I were walking back home, the bus driver stopped to let me know that he passes the first stop on the way out of the subdivision so that if we miss it the first time, he'll stop there a second time on the way out. Good to know.

Son #1 is 7th grade now. Junior High. The Big Leagues - changing clothes in gym class, changing classes, having a locker, etc.

As I mentioned in earlier posts Son #1 had trouble with this bully who has been in his class for the past three years. (Click here for a brief history, and here for our recent efforts to head off additional trouble.) This past Spring, Bully started smacking Son #1 in the back of the head several times a day and after three weeks, Son #1 finally has enough and strikes back. Yes, we've discussed dealing with problems as they arise...

Anyway, as I've blogged a couple of months ago, I learned that the Bully would have the identical school schedule as Son #1 ... all 7 classes. I also learned that Son #1 did not get his first choice of elective, Spanish. To be honest, I was a little apprehensive at the thought of his taking Spanish because of his speech impairment, but it'll be required in high school so I allowed him to request it. Truthfully, I wasn't disappointed to learn that he would take Agricultural Sciences instead. Son #1 has had all summer to get used to the idea of All Bully/No Spanish.

However, the principal - which whom I recently discussed my concerns about the Bully - really came through for us in more ways than one.

Son #1 got off the bus - so excited. Bully is in only *one* class (Social Studies) with Son #1. And Son #1 is indeed taking Spanish as an elective now. Ay Carumba! Had I known this earlier, I would've spend the summer working on the basics with him.

Son #2 also had a very good first day of school, but for Son #1 it was

The. Best. School. Day. Ever.

Random....

Well, we learned that Son #1 did not get his first choice of electives for the upcoming school year. He switches to a new school for 7th grade (junior high = 7 & 8 grades). He wanted to take Spanish (click here to read the April 26th post). The deal was that if he allowed me to "homeschool" him in Study Skills - perhaps the most useful, but least fun elective - then I would allow him to sign up for Spanish. Unfortunately, the Spanish teacher only works part time and this year, there were simply too many kids requesting it. Perhaps next year....

In the meantime, Son #1 has asked me to homeschool him in Study Skills and Spanish (using my old college texts). We'll see how long that lasts. He wasn't placed in his second choice either. (I don't recall what it was.) Instead, he'll be taking Agricultural Science. When I initially read the description, I thought it sounded like something he'd really enjoy and was surprised that he didn't select it. I think he'll come around though, plus he has the entire summer to get used to the idea.

Unfortunately, we also learned that his schedule will be identical to that of his archnemesis (click here for a little background), same classes, same times. It makes sense because they're both in the inclusion program. While I don't want either kid "branded" as a problem, I do think it's important that the teahers and administrators are aware of the history so I've been asked to call back at the beginning of the school year to remind them that although they'll share the same classes, in no way should they be seated next to one another, etc.

In a few minutes I have to take our greyhound back to the vet. He hurt his paw a couple of weeks ago (he got it stuck between the pickets of our fence when we was trying to peek over. The cut didn't look very deep - very little blood, but it did get infected. We took him to the vet last week where they lanced the wound, put three staples (to somewhat close it, but still allow it to drain), and fitted him with the "lampshade" looking collars so he cannot continue to lick at it and chew at the staples. Well, the vet apparently underestimated Old Needle Nose. I noticed that he was still able to lick at the boo boo AND one of the staples is missing. Sigh.

After the vet, Son #2 has a baseball game. His team got off to a slow start, but has been playing well the past 5 games. Son #2 is the #2 pitcher. Son #1 has a Boy Scout meeting later this evening. Fortunately, Dear Hubby will take him.

Our lazy summer day has morphed into a busy summer evening.

Se Habla Espanol?

Son #1 came home from school with a paper regarding choosing an elective next year. He'll be in 7th grade and will be moving to Junior High. Our local area does things a bit differently than the rest of the state. Here, elementary school is kindergarten - 3rd grade, middle school is 4th - 6th grades, junior high is 7th & 8th grades, and high school is 9th - 12th grades. This is why for the 2007-08 school year, I'll have three kids at three different schools (a kindergartner, 5th grader, and 7th grader). But I digress...

About this form. Listed are several elective courses. He's supposed to pick his first and second favorites and the parent signs the form. Together Son #1 and I read through the course descriptions. Agricultural Science sounded interesting. I thought he'd jump at Art. I knew he wouldn't go at all for chorus, band or speech/drama. Personally, I think the Study Skills course would benefit him, but let's face it: Who wants to study how to study? (Son #1 has an amazing memory which serves him well in school thus far, but eventually he'll have to expand his study habits.)

His first choice? Spanish I. Um. Okay. I hated to point out the obvious to him: that he's been in speech therapy for 8.5 years and still has trouble with articulation in English. He still struggles with producing certain sounds. Most notably the "R" sound, which is highly unfortunate that both his first and last names contain Rs.

But I love that he doesn't think in terms of limitations - he only sees possibilities. In his defense, he speaks very quickly which is an asset in conversational Spanish. And although he doesn't technically do it correctly, he can produce something that resembles the trilled R better than I ever could after 6 semesters of college level Spanish.

So we're compromising. I'll let him select Spanish as his first choice, Study Skills as his second. If he gets into the Spanish class then he will allow me to homeschool him over the summer to improve his study skills (I've already spoken to someone at the office at the junior high and they let me know which books and resources they use for the Study Skills class).