Wednesday, December 27, 2006

EXCUUUUUUUSE ME?

Okay, I'm asking my readers - all 4 of you - am I being nitpicky? Son #2, age 9, had his best friend spend the night last night. Best friend is basically a good kid. Decent grades, I'm very fond of his family, etc. It's just that this kid annoys the daylights out of me. Little things. Like when he kicks back in front of the TV and props his feet up on the TV armoire. Or he decides to sit on the coffee table. Or when he decides to snoop in the fridge. I know I should be glad that he feels so comfortable in our home, but really, I don't think this is a testament to my hostessing skills. I'd also have no problem if I told him, hey, if there's anything you want, just help yourself. Truth is, I haven't warmed up to him that much. Case in point - a while back we treated him and Son #1's best friend to dinner at a local Italian restaurant. All was fine until this kid remembered there was a Baskin Robbins Ice Cream place next door and ASKED if we could get ice cream. (Because the $60 dinner didn't hit the spot?!)

If I ever pulled something like that when I was a guest of another family, and my mother found out, I'd end up smacked in the back of the head (and rightfully so - in my opinion - thanks, Mom).

It's hard for me to point out this kid's transgressions to Son #2 without sounding like I'm criticizing his best friend. And I know there are worse faults than being spoiled. But still, I can't help myself. I give Son #2 "The Look" and whisper to him, ever so discreetly, "You don't pull that crap at his house, do you????"

So tell me honestly. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Am I too old fashioned? I am, after all, (gasp!) over 40. Have the standards changed? Oy Vey!

15 comments:

Sue said...

Wow. That's a tough one. I don't think your standards are too high. I don't know what I would do. (some help I am : )!)

Nikki said...

No, I don't think you're over reacting.

This kid needs to be taught some manners.

Elle*Bee said...

He's basically a good kid - not a trouble maker, doesn't fight, etc. - but it's the little things that drive me bonkers.

It's tough when you find your kid's best-best-best friend (Son #2's words) irritating.

Elle*Bee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Farm Girl said...

It seems like a lot of kids these days just don't know how to act. It's sad, I would be appalled if my children acted that way at other people's houses.

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Yeah, I'd get annoyed too! SlowMo had a friend once who was always ALWAYS thirsty, or hungry. It really got on my nerves because she's very picky, and always complained about the food I gave her! Grrr...I think some parents just don't teach their children propper ettiquette (sp?).

Elle*Bee said...

les, it's good to see you back. I've been wondering about you!

I don't know how I ended up posting twice above, but I'll attempt to delete one. (Gee, I was all excited about 6 comments - a record on my blog, I think. LOL)

Thank you, flip flop mamma, for confirming what I hoped: that some folks still teach their kids manners. The interesting thing is that I know the family pretty well and his older brother is the polar opposite, so I suspect Son's friend has been taught, but just isn't getting it. (sigh)

Elle*Bee said...

les, I'd love to catch up on how you're doing these days. I tried to click the link, but I see that your blog is private. I hope you'll consider sending me an invite.

And, nikki, forgive me for not welcoming you back. It's been a while! I know with the holidays, etc., I haven't been able to spend as much time posting or reading other folks' blog. It's good to see you again.

Lala's world said...

ya those are tough situations! I have had a few of those friends come around our house too and I am sure since the baby is only 4 there will be more....patience and turning them into life lessons is about all that comes to mind and reminding your children what NOT to do when they go to other people's houses! maybe getting our kids to gently tell them...you know that is not really allowed in our house....I don't know it is a tough one!

Elle*Bee said...

lala, Son #2 seems oblivious to his friend's behavior, despite the fact that he (Son #2) doesn't do the same things - at least at our house, and I've told him if I ever find out he props his feet on his friend's furniture or digs through their fridge, I'm locking him in a closet until he's 30. I've taught my kids to say please and thank you, yes ma'am, no sir, etc. I don't necessarily expect the same from his friends (altho' the please and thank you part would be nice). But the rest? Ick.

Farm Girl said...

I need an address, Ma'am.

Chicky Pea said...

elle - email me at farmgirl19@gmail.com with an address so I can add you to the invites.

Jules said...

NOOOO.. I am the same way. Sometimes I think that I am too uptight or strict but how else will our kids learn manners if we don't teach them! They way some kids behave they SHOULD get a good swift kick to the rear end!
My kids know better than that to behave that way in my home or anyone elses. I don't care if I am labeled (fill in the blank) but this is how we raise our kids and there are rules in my home. I expect my kids to follow them and anyone else who walks in the door.

Was that too harsh??

xoxo

Elle*Bee said...

Amen, jules! Glad to know I'm not the only one. The problem these is this: I am a bit of a stickler for manners. I expect my kids to exercise what I consider good manners (i.e. my rules) at our home. I'm trying to teach them to gently encourage their friends to follow the same rules in our home (they're not so good at noticing their friend's transgressions, though). However, it seems like I need to insist that my kids follow MY rules in other people's homes because some other families are, IMHO, too lax. Not on major things like smoking, violent movies, etc., but just the little niceties.

Renee said...

I don't think you are overreacting. I have friends that I've had for 17 years (yikes!!! I'm that old!) and even though I'm very comfortable being with their families and in their homes, I would never do that. And I never did that when I was his friend's age...