I'm curious. A blog buddy (we've been real life buddies long before we became cyber-buds) and I were talking today about controversial blog posts and it got me thinking:
Do you - you being my 6 readers, of course (oops! make that 4, two of my readers are non-bloggers. Get with the program, will ya?? I digress...) - do you edit what you write out of fear of offending the sensibilities of people that you likely have never met?
Do I? Oh yeah. There was a day when I didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought and was more than happy to share my usually-unsolicited opinions with the world. Those days are long gone. Today, I play it safe.
A large part of that is because I don't drink as often* (bourbon makes me opinionated, okay?) and the other part is because I converted to Catholicism a few years ago so I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler me. Becoming a mom has also mellowed me. Still there are times when I feel I've lost my 'edge.'
But isn't a blog supposed to be our thoughts, our feelings, our opinions? For better or for worse? I mentioned to my friend that it's fine to apologize for offending someone, but no one should have to apologize for their feelings/opinions, especially since feelings and opinions can evolve over time.
I admire my blog buddies (you know who you are) who take risks, who aren't afraid to reveal themselves, to be - yes, controversial. Truth is, while I may not necessarily agree with you, I wish I were a bit more like you. I'm raising a glass of wine in your honor. (Wine doesn't make me more opinionated.)
Viva la difference!
* kidding about the drinking thing - I didn't need a reason to be opinionated.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Good-Bye Gloria, Hello Steve
Yesterday morning, we picked up Son #2 from camp. Although he had a great time during his week away, he was so ready to come home. I hadn't received the letter that he promised to write and I asked him about it. He said he couldn't use his "quiet time" in the evening to write because the counselors insisted the campers shower every evening! (Something that wasn't insisted on last year, apparently, because I sent Son #1 and Son #2 to camp with 7 clean changes of clothes and they returned home each with five (!) clean outfits!!! ICK! I was told by the camp counselor last year that it wasn't an unusual phenomenon.) Too busy showering to write a simple letter? If you knew how long Son #2 spends in the shower or bathtub, you wouldn't be surprised, either.
Anyway, on to Gloria and Steve. "Gloria" is our 2002 Dodge Caravan. She's a lovely shade of red (metallic flake) and has served us well. Son #2 named her 'Gloria' on the day we bought her in January 2002. She was a true Mom-mobile.
Anyway, we had been considering upgrading to a newer vehicle for while, preferably something with a peppier engine. Of the minivans, I find Dodge to be the most affordable (okay, cheap). Finding a base model in the color I like - Gloria's color - is difficult, and I don't want to spend a bunch of money on options I don't want. Dear Hubby occasionally checks the Dodge website for locally available inventory and wouldn't you know? A dealership in Hammond had a red 2006 Dodge Caravan with a V6 engine (Gloria didn't have a V6). We decided to take a trip over there after picking up Son #2 from camp.
Before continuing, let me tell you that I HATE shopping for cars. It's my least favorite thing to do - tied with going to the dentist. (Well, actually sitting in the waiting room at the hospital is my least favorite thing, but going to the gynecologist ranks higher than car shopping for me. You get the point.) Car shopping with three kids is even worse!
Dear Hubby and I play Good Cop/Bad Cop when we visit car dealerships. I make a really good Bad Cop. Dear Hubby is very patient, very diplomatic and will listen to the sales guy's entire spiel. Not me. I let Dear Hubby handle the test drive and the negotiations. Not in the "little woman doesn't know anything about cars and complicated financing" way. More in the mega-b$#@% way: I'm with three kids who have short attention spans, and mine's even shorter. Patience? Sorry, I'm attempting to reserve that for the kids (Son #2 is making up for lost time and driving Son #3 nuts).
This is what I said: "I want this vehicle in this price range. I want about this much for my trade, I want an interest rate no higher than X% for 60 months - when you two (meaning Sales Guy and Dear Hubby) make that happen, call me. I'll be out walking around with the boys." Far from feeling emasculated, Dear Hubby finds this amusing. He and Wayne (Sales Guy) get to work. Wayne offered us about $800 less than we wanted for Gloria, although still a fair price. (Let me tell you, Gloria is a mess! We made no attempt to spruce her up because we just going to "take a look." We weren't planning on buying.)
However, Wayne countered by offering a greater discount on the new van than Dear Hubby expected so it balanced out. I'm called back inside. Boys are running around the show room, generally being noisy. Wayne's office is barely larger than a cubicle so all six of us couldn't fit in there. I approved the deal. Dear Hubby takes the boys to see the new vehicle while I fill out the credit application. Son #2 dubs the minivan "Steve."
Time to let the finance guy do his job. Dear Hubby and I hang out with the kids. It looks like we're getting a new minivan. I refuse to get too excited, because if I find any part of the deal that I don't like, I WILL walk away. Next it was time to sign the paperwork. The young guy who cleans and moves the vehicles is taking a break so he entertains the kids in the showroom (balloons, free baseball caps, etc.) while Dear Hubby and I are discussing the details with the finance guy. This biggest thing to me is the monthly note. You are NEVER supposed to discuss your desired monthly note with anyone - especially the finance guy. They can be sneaky. If you're not paying attention, they can adjust the term of your loan to make the monthly payments fit your budget, but you end up with a 85 month term. Okay, I'm exaggerating slightly, but I've seen it happen.
The monthly note is slightly higher than what I wanted, but still within my comfort zone. The term is 60 months. (I'd love to finance for 48 months, but with gas prices being what they are, I don't want to drive my car note up that much per month or else I won't be able to afford to fill the tank.) So far, sounds good, we tell Finance Guy, by the way, what's the interest rate on the loan? 8.11% with Chrysler Credit Corp. That's awfully high. "I have to get back to the kids," I tell Finance Guy. "See if you can find us a better rate with another lender." Then I left the office.
Dear Hubby patiently waits while Finance Guy checks with other lenders. Meanwhile, Wayne sees me come back out and knows something's wrong. He actually looks scared. I tell him the interest rate was outrageous but I'm sure Finance Guy will find something better. He does and my monthly note is right where I wanted it to be - to the penny. I give my blessing and we proceed with the paper-signing.
Son #1 is a little teary-eyed at this point. He's going to miss Gloria. He said the same thing about his bunk bed when he moved into his own room a few weeks ago and when we dropped Son #2 at camp a week ago. He got over both very quickly. Besides, Steve practically IS Gloria (with a zippier engine, power locks and windows, and cruise control). We had a little school of Christian fish on the back of Gloria: two large silver ones, and three small silver ones, representing each of us. Son #1 wants to get the same for Steve. I tell him we will. He'll learn to love Steve soon.
Buying Steve means I don't have to take Gloria this week for the front end alignment and the scheduled maintenance she's due before Dear Hubby and Son #1 drive to Boy Scout Camp in Alabama. They leave Saturday and will be gone for a week. They'll be driving Steve instead and will have a few other boy scouts with them. So much for the new car smell! ;-)
Anyway, on to Gloria and Steve. "Gloria" is our 2002 Dodge Caravan. She's a lovely shade of red (metallic flake) and has served us well. Son #2 named her 'Gloria' on the day we bought her in January 2002. She was a true Mom-mobile.
Anyway, we had been considering upgrading to a newer vehicle for while, preferably something with a peppier engine. Of the minivans, I find Dodge to be the most affordable (okay, cheap). Finding a base model in the color I like - Gloria's color - is difficult, and I don't want to spend a bunch of money on options I don't want. Dear Hubby occasionally checks the Dodge website for locally available inventory and wouldn't you know? A dealership in Hammond had a red 2006 Dodge Caravan with a V6 engine (Gloria didn't have a V6). We decided to take a trip over there after picking up Son #2 from camp.
Before continuing, let me tell you that I HATE shopping for cars. It's my least favorite thing to do - tied with going to the dentist. (Well, actually sitting in the waiting room at the hospital is my least favorite thing, but going to the gynecologist ranks higher than car shopping for me. You get the point.) Car shopping with three kids is even worse!
Dear Hubby and I play Good Cop/Bad Cop when we visit car dealerships. I make a really good Bad Cop. Dear Hubby is very patient, very diplomatic and will listen to the sales guy's entire spiel. Not me. I let Dear Hubby handle the test drive and the negotiations. Not in the "little woman doesn't know anything about cars and complicated financing" way. More in the mega-b$#@% way: I'm with three kids who have short attention spans, and mine's even shorter. Patience? Sorry, I'm attempting to reserve that for the kids (Son #2 is making up for lost time and driving Son #3 nuts).
This is what I said: "I want this vehicle in this price range. I want about this much for my trade, I want an interest rate no higher than X% for 60 months - when you two (meaning Sales Guy and Dear Hubby) make that happen, call me. I'll be out walking around with the boys." Far from feeling emasculated, Dear Hubby finds this amusing. He and Wayne (Sales Guy) get to work. Wayne offered us about $800 less than we wanted for Gloria, although still a fair price. (Let me tell you, Gloria is a mess! We made no attempt to spruce her up because we just going to "take a look." We weren't planning on buying.)
However, Wayne countered by offering a greater discount on the new van than Dear Hubby expected so it balanced out. I'm called back inside. Boys are running around the show room, generally being noisy. Wayne's office is barely larger than a cubicle so all six of us couldn't fit in there. I approved the deal. Dear Hubby takes the boys to see the new vehicle while I fill out the credit application. Son #2 dubs the minivan "Steve."
Time to let the finance guy do his job. Dear Hubby and I hang out with the kids. It looks like we're getting a new minivan. I refuse to get too excited, because if I find any part of the deal that I don't like, I WILL walk away. Next it was time to sign the paperwork. The young guy who cleans and moves the vehicles is taking a break so he entertains the kids in the showroom (balloons, free baseball caps, etc.) while Dear Hubby and I are discussing the details with the finance guy. This biggest thing to me is the monthly note. You are NEVER supposed to discuss your desired monthly note with anyone - especially the finance guy. They can be sneaky. If you're not paying attention, they can adjust the term of your loan to make the monthly payments fit your budget, but you end up with a 85 month term. Okay, I'm exaggerating slightly, but I've seen it happen.
The monthly note is slightly higher than what I wanted, but still within my comfort zone. The term is 60 months. (I'd love to finance for 48 months, but with gas prices being what they are, I don't want to drive my car note up that much per month or else I won't be able to afford to fill the tank.) So far, sounds good, we tell Finance Guy, by the way, what's the interest rate on the loan? 8.11% with Chrysler Credit Corp. That's awfully high. "I have to get back to the kids," I tell Finance Guy. "See if you can find us a better rate with another lender." Then I left the office.
Dear Hubby patiently waits while Finance Guy checks with other lenders. Meanwhile, Wayne sees me come back out and knows something's wrong. He actually looks scared. I tell him the interest rate was outrageous but I'm sure Finance Guy will find something better. He does and my monthly note is right where I wanted it to be - to the penny. I give my blessing and we proceed with the paper-signing.
Son #1 is a little teary-eyed at this point. He's going to miss Gloria. He said the same thing about his bunk bed when he moved into his own room a few weeks ago and when we dropped Son #2 at camp a week ago. He got over both very quickly. Besides, Steve practically IS Gloria (with a zippier engine, power locks and windows, and cruise control). We had a little school of Christian fish on the back of Gloria: two large silver ones, and three small silver ones, representing each of us. Son #1 wants to get the same for Steve. I tell him we will. He'll learn to love Steve soon.
Buying Steve means I don't have to take Gloria this week for the front end alignment and the scheduled maintenance she's due before Dear Hubby and Son #1 drive to Boy Scout Camp in Alabama. They leave Saturday and will be gone for a week. They'll be driving Steve instead and will have a few other boy scouts with them. So much for the new car smell! ;-)
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Insomnia Bites!
I've been having trouble sleeping for the past week or so. Part of it may be because Son #2 went away to camp three days ago. Not sure what else is bugging me. I'm generally fine during the day, but as the evening progresses, I have this nagging suspicion that 1) I'm forgetting something important or 2) something dramatic is going to happen - it doesn't always have to be bad, does it?
Falling asleep has always been a problem for me, even as a baby. Normally, it takes about 45-60 minutes after lying down in bed for my mind to finally stop racing from one thing to the next.
The past week though, I've been waking up once or twice during the night. Sometimes it's a stupid dream - again not necessarily a bad one, just utterly ridiculous. Sometimes it's for no reason at all.
Son #1 is a night-owl so he keeps me company. Shame on me for letting him stay up late, but it is summer vacation and we don't have to get up early in the morning. When I finally do settle into a nice deep sleep, Dear Hubby's alarm goes off so he can wake for work. I can usually catch more zzzzz's until Son #3 wakes me. He goes to sleep early and is up earlier. Sometimes, I can coax him into playing with toys quietly on my bed while I "rest." Apparently I'm supposed to be playing too as I wake with a shirt full of Legos. He doesn't seem to mind my passive role, though.
I'll just rest until he says the magic words: "Can we get breakfast now?" then my day starts. I function fine during the day, not especially tired or fatigued. Just mildly annoyed by the vague foreboding or 'what am I forgetting?' feeling.
I frequently have bouts where I have trouble sleeping for a couple of days, but it's been a long time since it's lasted a week or more. My worst bout was when I was in college and averaged 2-4 hours a sleep a night for over a month (no, I wasn't studying or partying at the time). Boy, was I a B*&$# on Wheels!
I've deliberately avoided the computer the past several nights because time really does get away from me. If this keeps up, though, I'm going to bite the bullet and get cable TV.
Falling asleep has always been a problem for me, even as a baby. Normally, it takes about 45-60 minutes after lying down in bed for my mind to finally stop racing from one thing to the next.
The past week though, I've been waking up once or twice during the night. Sometimes it's a stupid dream - again not necessarily a bad one, just utterly ridiculous. Sometimes it's for no reason at all.
Son #1 is a night-owl so he keeps me company. Shame on me for letting him stay up late, but it is summer vacation and we don't have to get up early in the morning. When I finally do settle into a nice deep sleep, Dear Hubby's alarm goes off so he can wake for work. I can usually catch more zzzzz's until Son #3 wakes me. He goes to sleep early and is up earlier. Sometimes, I can coax him into playing with toys quietly on my bed while I "rest." Apparently I'm supposed to be playing too as I wake with a shirt full of Legos. He doesn't seem to mind my passive role, though.
I'll just rest until he says the magic words: "Can we get breakfast now?" then my day starts. I function fine during the day, not especially tired or fatigued. Just mildly annoyed by the vague foreboding or 'what am I forgetting?' feeling.
I frequently have bouts where I have trouble sleeping for a couple of days, but it's been a long time since it's lasted a week or more. My worst bout was when I was in college and averaged 2-4 hours a sleep a night for over a month (no, I wasn't studying or partying at the time). Boy, was I a B*&$# on Wheels!
I've deliberately avoided the computer the past several nights because time really does get away from me. If this keeps up, though, I'm going to bite the bullet and get cable TV.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Summer Camp & the Cowboy from El Paso
Yesterday evening we dropped Son #2 off at camp. It's a week-long (almost), sleepover camp located not too far from where we live. It's sponsored by a religious organization. He and Son #1 went last year, and Son #1 went alone the year before. This year Son #1 has opted to go to Boy Scout Camp later in the month.
Anyway, Son #2 has really been looking forward to it. He's a very sociable kid and makes friends easily so I'm sure he'll have a blast. While we were checking him in (visiting the nurse's station, the registration desk, the 'bank' table, etc.), Son #1 got a little weepy. I asked whether he was sad not to be going this year and he shook his head 'no' and said he will miss Son #2. Go figure.
After we make all the necessary stops, we unload the van and bring Son #2 and his gear to his cabin. "Bye," he says as he dashed in to claim his bunk. Bye. That's it. Barely a wave. So...dismissive. I just stood there. Speechless. Finally, one of the teen counselors calls him, "Hey, come back out here an hug your mother. You won't see her for a week." I love this teen counselor. So I got my hug from Son #2. And didn't feel guilty about taking Sons #1 and #3 out to dinner.
We dined at Mi Mamacita's Mexican Restaurant. Very small, very quaint, pretty good food. Son #3 actually ate the cheese quesadilla (which wasn't that great) and Son #1 ate a beef soft taco without cheese, lettuce or tomato. Mychicken enchiladas weren't rolled as they traditionally are, but were very good. Dear Hubby enjoyed whatever he ordered.
Anyway, since the restaurant is so tiny, we struck up a conversation with a man dining alone. Son #3 was impressed with the man's cowboy boots. When the man said they were made from alligator, Son #3 said, "oh, mine are Crocs." Turns out the man is a cowboy from El Paso, Tx. We didn't catch why he was in town, but he showed us a picture of his 3 year old granddaughter, Abigail. He told us the story of how he had this old mostly blind horse - a mare - that he wanted to donate to a local orphanage, but instead ended up selling it for a small price to an acquaintance (allegedly so the acquaintance's kids could ride). However, the acquaintance ended up selling the horse to the same orphanage that would've gotten it free from the Cowboy from El Paso. Dear Hubby said that what goes around comes around, and the Cowboy said, yep, the acquaintance died a couple of months later. Hmmmm. The Cowboy used to live in Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia, California (didn't care for it there) and a couple of other states before moving back to Texas.
Somehow we got on the subject of cowboy movie heroes and he said that when he lived in Roanoke, Va., he was sitting on the porch drinking homemade apricot brandy when he saw a small train that he thought was in trouble. He thought it crashed in the mountains, but a buddy said that, no, he was nuts. Turns out it was Audie Murphy's fatal plane crash on May 28, 1971. (I checked the details on Audie Murphy's Official Website .) For those of you unfamiliar with Audie Murphy, he was an actor, but also the most decorated soldier to have fought in World War II. I'm not familiar with his movies, but I first heard of him when I came across his gravesite at the Arlington National Cemetary, where my father's cremains are interred. Anyway, it was a fun dinner.
Anyway, Son #2 has really been looking forward to it. He's a very sociable kid and makes friends easily so I'm sure he'll have a blast. While we were checking him in (visiting the nurse's station, the registration desk, the 'bank' table, etc.), Son #1 got a little weepy. I asked whether he was sad not to be going this year and he shook his head 'no' and said he will miss Son #2. Go figure.
After we make all the necessary stops, we unload the van and bring Son #2 and his gear to his cabin. "Bye," he says as he dashed in to claim his bunk. Bye. That's it. Barely a wave. So...dismissive. I just stood there. Speechless. Finally, one of the teen counselors calls him, "Hey, come back out here an hug your mother. You won't see her for a week." I love this teen counselor. So I got my hug from Son #2. And didn't feel guilty about taking Sons #1 and #3 out to dinner.
We dined at Mi Mamacita's Mexican Restaurant. Very small, very quaint, pretty good food. Son #3 actually ate the cheese quesadilla (which wasn't that great) and Son #1 ate a beef soft taco without cheese, lettuce or tomato. Mychicken enchiladas weren't rolled as they traditionally are, but were very good. Dear Hubby enjoyed whatever he ordered.
Anyway, since the restaurant is so tiny, we struck up a conversation with a man dining alone. Son #3 was impressed with the man's cowboy boots. When the man said they were made from alligator, Son #3 said, "oh, mine are Crocs." Turns out the man is a cowboy from El Paso, Tx. We didn't catch why he was in town, but he showed us a picture of his 3 year old granddaughter, Abigail. He told us the story of how he had this old mostly blind horse - a mare - that he wanted to donate to a local orphanage, but instead ended up selling it for a small price to an acquaintance (allegedly so the acquaintance's kids could ride). However, the acquaintance ended up selling the horse to the same orphanage that would've gotten it free from the Cowboy from El Paso. Dear Hubby said that what goes around comes around, and the Cowboy said, yep, the acquaintance died a couple of months later. Hmmmm. The Cowboy used to live in Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia, California (didn't care for it there) and a couple of other states before moving back to Texas.
Somehow we got on the subject of cowboy movie heroes and he said that when he lived in Roanoke, Va., he was sitting on the porch drinking homemade apricot brandy when he saw a small train that he thought was in trouble. He thought it crashed in the mountains, but a buddy said that, no, he was nuts. Turns out it was Audie Murphy's fatal plane crash on May 28, 1971. (I checked the details on Audie Murphy's Official Website .) For those of you unfamiliar with Audie Murphy, he was an actor, but also the most decorated soldier to have fought in World War II. I'm not familiar with his movies, but I first heard of him when I came across his gravesite at the Arlington National Cemetary, where my father's cremains are interred. Anyway, it was a fun dinner.
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